Is your glass half full or half empty?

Are you a glass half full or a glass half empty kind of person? A person who focuses on the positive or focuses on the negative?

In my full-time job, I focus heavily on employee engagement. And at times, I have to deliver news to the staff that I may not agree with or may not be highly positive. Over time I’ve come to realize it’s not the message that’s negative, it’s the outlook on it that will change how you feel.

I recently ended things pretty final with a man I’ve been dating on and off for about 2 years. My feelings for him are very strong, and same on his end (or so they were, unsure now). But, our glasses were very different.

I’m a cup half full kind of girl. And if your cup is half empty, I’ll do everything in my power to pour into you and fill you up. Literally. But if your cup has a hole, a roadblock that will allow you to be motivated in any way, then there is no way we’ll ever get to the same levels.

Ok, stick with me here. I’ve got a point. 

Since 2016, I’ve been on a journey of self-development and growth. And although I’ve taken some steps back at times, I feel as though I’ve changed a lot in the last two years.

I am constantly looking for new ways to motivate myself and to learn. I listen to podcasts on my way to/from work. I read those girl power, self-development books. I do my best to eat healthy and get my body moving. When I walk the dog (which I do daily), I typically don’t bring my phone.

It’s uncomfortable, it’s hard work, and it takes focus. But, I know that if I don’t push myself out of my comfort zone then nothing will change.

No one will ever love you as much as you love yourself. You can’t give your love to someone else and show them appreciation unless you can do that for yourself first.

So with that, I’m using the next 8 weeks to focus on a mentality shift in myself. On Wednesday I’ll be sharing more about what that means in the literal sense, in case anyone wants to join me on the journey, but also to hold myself accountable.

Until then, a word to the wise.

• Take a look at your glass – whether you’re a wine glass, a mason jar, or a vase. Where is your water level? Ask yourself if it could be higher. 
• Take a look at whose glass you’re helping to fill when they are need of a top off. Do they do the same for you? And if not, should you still be focusing on their glass?
• What’s draining your glass? How could you focus on plugging that hole that’s slowly stealing your water (or wine)? 

Remember, self-care is important. 

Release the Negativity

Forgiveness is freaking hard. Although it sometimes feels easier to dwell on who has done you wrong, or the negative things that have happened in your life, the result can cause much more wrong than right.

It’s been close to three years since I lost my Dad from cancer (in September) and ended a long-term relationship (in July) – both of which I feel like I have not completely dealt with.

And frankly, the mind works in mysterious ways. I’ve been having nightmares lately. Every night. In fact, a few times I’ve woken myself up crying because of them. And I truly believe that my subconscious mind trying to release toxic emotions that have been sitting there stale for too long.

In order to overcome the negative, you have to focus on the positive. So, how can you do that?

Learn & Grow
Whether it’s a new book or a Podcast, continuing to learn about yourself and life is such a gift. I have a number of books on my Kindle and following a number of Podcasts that teach me something every time I turn to them.

If you’re curious where to start, Brene Brown is one of my favorite authors, and I’ve recently started to love Oprah’s podcast “Super Soul Conversations” and Brooke Castillo’s “The Life Coach School Podcast.”

Clean Up
Yes, it’s important that your space be clear of chaos so that you can have a clear mind. Clear out your closet, storage unit, kitchen cabinets, toiletry drawer, etc. Get rid of anything that you haven’t touched in the last 60 days and anything that has dust on it because it hasn’t moved since you put there in the first place.

But, the cleaning doesn’t have to stop there. Go to your Facebook, Instagram, and cell phone. Clear out photos that don’t serve you any longer, accounts you follow that you haven’t seen in your feed or contacts that are just taking up valuable memory space. If the account is not bringing anything valuable to your life, it’s taking up valuable space for something better.

Celebrate
You only get one life. Some people go to sleep at night and don’t wake up again the next morning. But you did, otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this right now. Remember how special life is and how lucky you are to get the chance to have it.

Take yourself for a pedicure. Eat something that helps your belly dance. Press play on that work out that makes you feel alive. Turn your favorite song up on the radio and dance it out. Whatever it is, enjoy yourself.

Forgive 
Man. That’s hard. I listened to a Podcast the other day – “Elizabeth Gilbert: The Whole Human Experience” on Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations that really changed how I feel about this.

In short, her comment was that when serving as a caregiver, you can’t give your all without someone caring for you as well. The animosity that I have in my heart is towards the one who I feel left me when I needed someone the most. But rather than focusing on the negative, I’m forgiving the fact that he was not designed for that type of task and instead focusing on those in my life who stepped up to the plate when he dropped out of the game.

You never have to lower your expectations and what you want out of life and a relationship because your current situation is not serving you in that way. Instead, forgive and focus on something greater.

Summer Time Life Update

I don’t recall if I did one of these posts with my re-vamped blog, but they were one of my favorites in the past. I’ve needed to write on this blog for a while now, but every time I go to hit the keys something “more important” comes along and my “need” becomes a “like to.”

In an effort to see if anyone still reads things I share, I thought I’d give you guys a quick update on life lately.

Watching
Binging my Bravo faves (Summer House, Vanderpump Rules, etc) but not really hooked on much TV. I tried out the series on HBO about Chernobyl but was bored.

Reading
A romance novel. No joke. It’s the second by this particular author. It’s called “Tied” by Carian Cole and I literally can not put it down.

Listening
I’m obsessed with Christian Rock music lately. It’s how we start out Sundays out at church and I find it so relaxing when I’m working away in my office or driving home after a busy day. It’s not all gospel-like, and Jesus-obsessed but rather really relaxing music that you may even have heard on your “regular” stations.

Making
Memories! It’s the summer season and I’m all about being at the beach every Sunday. In addition, I’m really enjoying this season of being single and enjoying my life while still focusing heavily on myself. Granted, I’d love to find someone I could build something with, but I know it’ll all happen when it’s supposed to and for now I’m really just enjoying life.

Feeling
Sunburnt! As soon as the temps hit a steady 75+ I need to be outside as much as possible. I laid out this weekend at the beach and at home and I can definitely tell those tan lines will be prominent.

Planning
Some changes this month in my health and fitness. I have a blog post coming up soon to share why I’ve been so unsuccessful with Whole30 after successfully completing it last January, but it’s no excuse for me to eat like crap and not get my body moving. I’ve been starting off slow, but I’ll be sharing soon what my journey looks like and hopefully encouraging some of you to do some sort of fitness challenge with me in July.

Loving
The fact that on Sunday morning, when my 6:30 a.m. alarm went off, Elphie (the dog) laid down right next to me and wouldn’t get comfortable until I wrapped my arm around her to snuggle. As she gets older (she’s 5 now), she’s definitely slowing down a bit when it comes to activity but at the same time, her affection is growing strong.

Do you guys enjoy these type of posts? If not, what are you looking for me to share on soon? 

Oh hello 2019

Happy New Year!

I have been off from work since December 21. It’s been such a blessing to be able to sleep until my body is ready to wake up, relax in sweatpants and walk the dog during the day, and just truly relish in being unplugged and relaxed.

I had so many intentions for my time off, most of which have not been done. Despite my lax nature over the last few days, I’ve used the end of 2018 and beginning of 2019 (as in yesterday and today) in full-blown planning and productive mode.

If you’ve been following along with this blog over it’s lifetime (pre-relaunch and as of late), you’ll know that 2016 was my most challenging year yet.  Further, 2017 was a bit of a fog as I lifted myself out of a deep depression and some crazy self-destruction.

I had every intention of 2018 being my best year. I even termed it “The Butterfly Year.” I was pretty much out of my fog and really started the year off well with doing the Whole30 and completely detoxing my life. But alas, the year did not turn out as I had expected.

Don’t get me wrong. The entire year was not a wash. I had a lot of highs, some pretty bad lows, and overall learned so much about myself and where my life is going.

So, as I embark on a new year, I’m not naming my year. I’m not choosing one word to set the stage for the next 12 months. And I’m not making any resolutions.

Instead, I’m stopping with the excuses. I’m going to be putting in the hard work to reach my goals and get myself healthy (emotionally, mentally, physically, and financially).

I’ve got some pretty exciting things on the horizon for 2019, which I’ll begin sharing in due time here.

I hope you all celebrated the new year how you wanted to, with who you wanted to, and did so safely.

In the meantime, there is a group of us starting another round of Whole30 tomorrow, and I am SO ready to see what this next round brings to me.

What are you most looking forward to in the new year?