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3/19/20

Throw me a roll of toilet paper

I wasn't going to share all of this information but I feel like there is a message in here somewhere that someone will need to hear and I'd be remorse if I miss the opportunity to help in some way.

There's no denying that 2016 was the worst year of my life. But I'm telling ya, 2019 and 2020 are competing pretty intensely for taking over that title. And frankly, I'm sick of it.

Let me give you a quick update on life since November.
  • I started and ended another round of an unfortunately toxic relationship - but I think I finally learned and accepted that regardless of how much love I have for him, it's just never going to work
  • I experienced one of the most tumultuous holiday seasons I've ever known, resulting in an estranged relationship with two of my family members
  • My step-dad, my grandmother, and one of my best friends experienced life-changing health scares that are manageable, but incredibly scary
  • My mom had her own health "hiccup" that caused excruciating pain but thankfully has resolved
  • Elphie partially tore her CCL, causing her to be immobile since January
And now, the icing on the cake, is that Elphie developed a bacterial infection called leptospirosis that could have taken her from me but thankfully - with big prayers following her along the way - has left her with partial paralysis that could be temporary or could be indefinite.

ALL of this happening while interviewing, accepting, and transitioning to a new job in a higher, more demanding role and industry. And with the development of Coronavirus and a toilet paper shortage.

I think it's safe to say that I've officially started developing gray hairs.

The last few months have been truly trying, and when sharing with people I continue to say "He is truly testing me but I wish he'd just throw me a freakin' bone already!"

Well, I've caught that bone. In fact, I caught two of them.

First and foremost, this promotion brought with it a significant pay increase and a pay-out of unused vacation time from my previous job - both of which have allowed me to pay this hospital bill of Elphie's (but seriously, if anyone wants to help with that....). It's also allowed me to purchase the supplies she will need for recovery.

In addition, the fact that we are all essentially on house arrest right now is a blessing. I can truly focus on my work with no distractions AND be home for Elphie (who came home on Monday) while we settle into a new normal.

This epidemic is bananas to me. And although the first week, well two weeks, I just kept saying "It's just a bad cold. Wash your hands and stop canoodling with people," I realize the severity now and just wish people would follow guidelines and play by the temporary rules so we can get back to life as we knew it.

If I've learned anything from this situation, it's that I'm being forced to reshift my focus. Being forced to work remotely in solidarity has truly opened my eyes to the routine I was following and allowed me to rework the speed I was moving at. 

Life isn't always going to play fair and the only thing you can really manipulate is how you react to it. So, will you be one of those toilet paper hoarders who is clearing out the canned and frozen food shelves? Or are you going to be the one who reassures everyone that it's just a bad season and not a bad life?

But seriously, what's with the toilet paper hoarding? Deep breaths people, deep breaths.