It’s been close to three years since I lost my Dad from cancer (in September) and ended a long-term relationship (in July) – both of which I feel like I have not completely dealt with.
And frankly, the mind works in mysterious ways. I’ve been having nightmares lately. Every night. In fact, a few times I’ve woken myself up crying because of them. And I truly believe that my subconscious mind trying to release toxic emotions that have been sitting there stale for too long.
In order to overcome the negative, you have to focus on the positive. So, how can you do that?
Learn & Grow
Whether it’s a new book or a Podcast, continuing to learn about yourself and life is such a gift. I have a number of books on my Kindle and following a number of Podcasts that teach me something every time I turn to them.
If you’re curious where to start, Brene Brown is one of my favorite authors, and I’ve recently started to love Oprah’s podcast “Super Soul Conversations” and Brooke Castillo’s “The Life Coach School Podcast.”
Clean Up
Yes, it’s important that your space be clear of chaos so that you can have a clear mind. Clear out your closet, storage unit, kitchen cabinets, toiletry drawer, etc. Get rid of anything that you haven’t touched in the last 60 days and anything that has dust on it because it hasn’t moved since you put there in the first place.
But, the cleaning doesn’t have to stop there. Go to your Facebook, Instagram, and cell phone. Clear out photos that don’t serve you any longer, accounts you follow that you haven’t seen in your feed or contacts that are just taking up valuable memory space. If the account is not bringing anything valuable to your life, it’s taking up valuable space for something better.
Celebrate
You only get one life. Some people go to sleep at night and don’t wake up again the next morning. But you did, otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this right now. Remember how special life is and how lucky you are to get the chance to have it.
Take yourself for a pedicure. Eat something that helps your belly dance. Press play on that work out that makes you feel alive. Turn your favorite song up on the radio and dance it out. Whatever it is, enjoy yourself.
Forgive
Man. That’s hard. I listened to a Podcast the other day – “Elizabeth Gilbert: The Whole Human Experience” on Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations that really changed how I feel about this.
In short, her comment was that when serving as a caregiver, you can’t give your all without someone caring for you as well. The animosity that I have in my heart is towards the one who I feel left me when I needed someone the most. But rather than focusing on the negative, I’m forgiving the fact that he was not designed for that type of task and instead focusing on those in my life who stepped up to the plate when he dropped out of the game.
You never have to lower your expectations and what you want out of life and a relationship because your current situation is not serving you in that way. Instead, forgive and focus on something greater.
